Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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