similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
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If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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