Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
BRING THE BAGELS
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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