I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
