I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
