i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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