did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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