But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
