Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
