I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
