its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize