Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
