I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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