dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
