You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I would fuck him just for his dog
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