I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
