dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
