Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
