i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
