Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
