His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
