...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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