Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize