isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
