i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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