Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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