Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
