I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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