toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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