girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
