Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
