I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
