I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
