Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
