i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
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did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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