Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The Olympian is in my bed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
