Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
