I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
