turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
