So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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