marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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