What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
