there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.