help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic