just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just forgot I was standing up.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.