very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
