well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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