You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
