I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.