If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.