barbara walters just said penis...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.