You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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