Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
