He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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