no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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