You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ttyl tear gas
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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