Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
