It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
