also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
