Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just had sex on a roof
Bring me that man meat
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
