how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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