i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My ATM looks so different sober.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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