I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
