I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize