Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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