instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
